Rapidly Aging, Straight, Cisgender, White Man

Yep, I’m still doing the little thumbnail pictures. No, I have yet to get better at them. Will work on that.

That’s not what’s on my mind in case you didn’t guess by the title. No, today, I wanted to talk about how I am a rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white man.

Are… are you just now realizing this?

No. I have seen a mirror before my face made it shatter. This is not some weird acknowledgment of what I look like. This is about my experiences in life, and how it affects my writing. Ever heard the phrase ‘write what you know’? Yep, we’ll be dealing with that.

You don’t know things?

I do know things, and I have refined my research skills over the years. I know or can find just about anything when it comes to science, politics, history, and technology. Those are things with facts and data. They are recorded and cataloged because they can be.

The same isn’t true when it comes to experience. How would you record data about the experiences you have? How do you catalog every interaction? Spoiler warning, you can’t because that isn’t how life works.

So, what? I’ve got my own experiences to call on. I know how life works. I live it every day!

But that’s my life! I can speak about what it was like for me to go through my experiences. I’ve never been anybody else, so I can’t speak to how they would feel or react in the same situations. And I haven’t had all experiences, so I can only imagine how I would react and feel when I go through those.

That’s just the surface level. What about more intimate and societal experiences? How does it feel to not be me?

I’m a rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white man. I don’t and can’t have experiences of what it’s like to be anything other than that.

That becomes a problem for writing. Do you want to read a story where all the characters are rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white men? I have. I didn’t want to. I never want to do it again.

I want to read and write stories with clashing personalities growing from different lives lived. I want to see people of completely different backgrounds interacting to show how the world functions.

But how do I create characters that aren’t rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white men?

Give up?

No.

Okay, what then?

The internet! And other research avenues… but mostly the internet!

People love to talk on the internet, and some of that has to do with their life. I can use that. Probably not what they intended sometimes, but I’m educating myself at least. I don’t copy what I see, but I can use it as a jumping off point. I can get as wide a range of experiences as possible then build from what I see.

The internet doesn’t just provide references, it can also give opinions. I know it may be shocking for the internet, but it is true. I’m not looking for everyone’s opinion, not that I get a choice in that. I want some specific takes. I want beta and sensitivity readers!

Don’t know what those are because you don’t try to write things people are going to see? Well, these aren’t your normal reader. Instead of paying you to read your content, you pay them to read your content. Not just to make yourself feel better. That’s called sad author bribery. Beta and sensitivity readers are part of the editing process.

If you want people to read your book, you need to make sure it doesn’t induce diarrhea via terribleness. As supportive as your family and friends might be about your writing, they won’t be as honest about what you make them read. Beta readers provide an outside voice about your work, and if you choose carefully, they can provide the viewpoint of different life experiences.

Now, beta readers can provide that as part of their services, but it’s sensitivity reader’s whole bag. A beta reader tells you if your book works as a book. A sensitivity reader tells you if you’re making a hate crime. The advice might not be the end all be all, (you know, can’t please everyone and all that) but it can help you to avoid the biggest pitfalls.

Wild guess, this doesn’t solve all the problems?

No, it doesn’t.

Talk to your friends, loved ones, random screaming people on the street. You will find that you don’t have the same experiences. It doesn’t matter if they’re all rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white men, there is going to be a wide range of experiences. Your weird social circle aside, I think you are getting my point.

There is no definitive life of any group. That’s what makes writing about the people who aren’t like you so hard. There might be common experiences or feelings, but if you just build off that you write a stereotype.

There is also the thought that if you are not part of a group, you shouldn’t write about their struggle. Very few of this mindset would tell you not to have any characters other than those like you; this is about having your main character be of a different group than you. You don’t have the firsthand experience to have the lifelong understanding of the struggle. There is also the possibility, particularly if you are a rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white man, that you are taking the publishing opportunity that would have been given to someone who is actually of that group, perpetuating an already skewed public viewpoint.

I can’t say that I disagree with this. Read anything about any industry, and it doesn’t paint a pretty picture about inclusiveness. Additionally, I wouldn’t want someone else saying they can speak for my struggles and thoughts while never interacting with me.

Then why do you bother?

There are several reasons.

As I said, not even I want to read a story with only rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white men much less write it. A diverse cast makes an interesting story, and I want to write interesting stories.

There is also the issue of representation. Looking through most major media, I have to admit that a lot of the cast looks like me. That makes it easier for me to relate to the characters (in theory at least), but I’m not the only one looking to relate to my media.

Finally, there’s my first audience. I don’t mean the people who may read my book at some point. With any luck, that group will be diverse and large, and I do want to have them see themselves in the story, but that’s not my first audience. After I make sure I like what I’m writing, I want my family and friends to like it.

Right now, I don’t have kids, but that’s not always going to be the case. My children will be of mixed race, half Asian and half Caucasian, so not like me. I want them to see themselves in media like I have. That wouldn’t be possible with a lot of the media I grew up with, but it’s changing, and I want to help with that change.

If I only write about people like me, it could do more than just hurt the drive for more diversity in media. I’m afraid I’ll create a wall between myself and my children. I will be different, that always happens with parents and their children, but I don’t want them to feel like they are separate from me.

So, you’re going to try?

I’m going to try. I can’t guaranty that I’ll be perfect. I’ll take all the steps I can, but those won’t solve all the problems. All the same, I’m going to try.

If you are a reader, I highly recommend reading about characters that are different than you. I don’t mean my stuff. I mean in general.

If you are a writer, try stretching yourself. You will have to do some more work than just creating copies of yourself, but it could have so many benefits for more than just you. Just be ready for criticism. People aren’t trying to cut you down; they just want you to get it right after so many years of the world getting it wrong.

Let’s all stretch ourselves so there are less stories of only rapidly aging, straight, cisgender, white men.